Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
