you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
