Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This gyro tastes like lonliness
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize