but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
