Banned from zoo.
Again?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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