Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
