i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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