Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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