READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
