Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
