I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
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Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
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It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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