6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
