Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
