I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
