I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
