Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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