We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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