I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
True strength comes from lack of pants
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize