Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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