I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
