I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
