Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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