I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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