She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
