we have officially lost it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
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He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
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I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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