she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
