I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize