he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
