help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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