Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize