You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Alive.
So much puke
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize