Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
