I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
