my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
