I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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