i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm too high and old for this...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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