i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
