you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
