I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize