I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
