Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
