Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You are the jesus of drinking
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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