what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
