please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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