I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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