closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
