dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
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walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
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But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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