I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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