So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
