these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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