WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
