i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Are we in a gay sports bar?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
