this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Panties = found
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