my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
